A Dark and Winding Road
Was fireworks at night
The dark of discontent
Extinguished in the light
It was burning red and violent blues
Victorious celebration
A mess of bold and haughty hues
Demanding adoration
It was everything you’d ever want
Captured in a flash
Dispelling doubts who used to haunt
questions you used to ask
It was combusting in an air joy
In a burst of sudden power
Emboldened with a courage bought
With your explosive hour
But it’s not
Instead
Success is quiet footsteps
On a dark and winding road
Tired circles, weary breaths
A symphony of groans
It’s the wishing wishing wishing
To turn back and go no farther
The quiet resolution
To keep climbing ever higher
It's not captured in a flash of chance
But in a series of decisions
To believe that you can enhance
The gifts that G-d has given
The journey to the mountain top
Is paved with jagged boulders
Its falling from a windy peak
With a load upon your shoulders
And then you turn around
Weary worn and bleary eyed
To see how far you’ve traveled now
And feel success inside
Wow I love this. The shift in definitions of success leaves me with so much to reflect on and I just loved this poem so much. First success is what one assumes this crazy celebration with fireworks, it's magical and you depict it as so. Then you spin to the reality of success and I love how you do that by saying
ReplyDelete"But it’s not
Instead". This shift is amazing and shook me as I waited to see the true facts.
"Success is quiet footsteps
On a dark and winding road here I would suggest removing and
It’s tired circles, weary breaths On this line I would suggest removing it's
And a symphony of groans". and here I would suggest removing and
It would sound even better as
A dark winding road
Tired circles, weary breaths
A symphony of groans
Without those extra words the image is even strong than it already was. Your closing line of "and feel success inside" is amazing and the best message. Feeling it inside of you makes it real and personal. I loved this so much thank you for sharing!!
woah okay this may be my favorite poem of yours. i love how still the approach to a dormant success is until you reach a boiling point and immediately change your mind! this really reminds me of inviticus. you should absolutely give it a read. i love that you aren't telling me what happiness is, but you are describing it with your imagery-- you are also telling me what it is not, which seems like a unique angle in poetry. this is amazing!!
ReplyDeleteI have a lot to say about this poem, and I will be emailing you my comments. We're going to be discussing this one during class on Monday. I'm looking forward to the discussion.
ReplyDelete